His mother was concerned for his apparent lack of focus at school, and his self -esteem was greatly affected by his low marks. He was bullied, and had a sense that he needed to accept the responsibility of fault in the schoolyard, as well as at home and was truly coming from a genuine sense of caring for those kids who would be blamed.
In sessions we discussed his image of his inner warrior. He realized that when he felt weak or powerless, that his inner warrior had retreated to the’ head in the clouds’ place, and as a result, he was left with feeling of defeat and surrender. When I suggested that this young man might call his warrior home, to be present, he lit up with the knowing that that is what he needed to do.
When I asked him to describe his warrior, his response left me speechless. This is indeed a moment in my practice when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt how very much I love what I do! This young sage went on to describe a Sumari warrior. He held a golden sword with a dragon etched in to the blade.
He said that when he swung the sword that it moved in an empowering way, not a destructive way, and it was in the name of justice, courage and strength. Ultimately he said…it was in the name of Love.
As it is with so many kids I treat, I can see the pattern of the head in the clouds, and lack of focus, as being a result of not wanting to be ‘present’, in the classroom. Some kids have anxiety around performance, where others long for escape from the classroom due to lack of interest or boredom.
Through my work with these kids, I can see that they often, literally make a choice, to leave their bodies, and connect with their ‘head in the clouds’ place of retreat. As a result they may appear to be daydreaming, or in a fog. This can cause a sense of not belonging for these kids, and can result in low self esteem, a sense of guilt, shame and self blame, for their lack of achievement.
In sharing the importance of breathing, and other tools I share with these kids that they can make a conscious choice to be fully present, as opposed to ‘checking out’ to the cloud zone. They soon realize that in doing so, their marks will improve and they will have a better sense of wellbeing. Ultimately they gain a sense of groundedness and can see that being present is a very cool place to be!
One young man was very aware of where his head in the clouds place was, and mentioned a sense of flying out of his body. It was a happier place for him to be, as his parents had recently separated, and was subjected to some stress at home, as a result. When he realized he could bring this fun place here in the present moment, his focus at school improved dramatically and his marks improved. He was more in control of his emotions and his anger depleted.